Why is it so hard just to be yourself?

Introduction time,

Hi, I am Denny and I came into this world way back in 1970 when life was simple or so I thought. I was born in Cleveland Ohio on the West Side. I have three sisters, as I am the youngest. We had strangers living in our home at the ripe age of three. Dad was somewhere on a Manic High and Mom was ushering in transients to cover her daily fix. We, my sisters and I, spent many a night with the Sisters of Annunciation Catholic Church. Hiding from Biker gangs that took over our house or hiding from dad on a rampage, either way it wasn’t fun and it sure wasn’t a home.
By time I was four I had the pleasure, so I thought, of having a really cute babysitter watch me while my sisters were at school and who knows what my parents were doing at the time. All I know is that a very pretty blond was watching me. It was really fun even after she started using me as her personal vibrator. I had no idea what was going on at the time, I was only four years old. All I knew was that she showed me what she wanted me to do and I did it. It was a game to me. How would I ever know any different. She would sit in the chair and spread her legs, her panties were already off. She would guide my head between her thighs and she told me to lick….fast. I soon started having wet dreams at night. This went on for almost a year and she showed me other things to do to her too over the year.
After she stopped being my babysitter at around the age of five. I started to be watched a lot at the church. When the sisters were too busy to watch me; the two Priests: Father Y and Father K would watch me as I was left there for the day sometimes a week at a time by my mother. I remember the first time Father Y sat me atop of the filling cabinet  for the first time; It was way up high, well, high to me. He pulled down my pants and my underwear and started kissing me between my legs. Soon after, Father K would join in and they would both take turns sucking on my little wee wee. I was five years old and I had no idea what was going on, I just knew it felt good but bad at the same time. This went on for six months. By the second week I was being sodomised daily. This is getting hard to write about… I will continue tomorrow.