About Me

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Lakewood, Ohio, United States
Hello my name is Zoe Page, I am a Transsexual Woman Transitioning from MTF (Male to Female), and I am currently writing, what will become my first published book, "How I Lost The Game Before It Even Started.- A Transsexual With Borderline Personality Disorder" I am an Army Veteran living in Cleveland, Ohio. I have a potpourri of psychological problems including: PTSD, Bipolar One Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Dissociative Disorder. Fun right? I am writing this Blog for my own therapeutic recovery and in hopes that I may be able to help another person suffering with some of the same demons I deal with on a daily basis. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to comment with your feelings, experiences or questions for me; I will be more than happy to hear from you.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Not A Sad Post

I promised a friend that I would Blog a Happy Post: Not that I haven’t had happy times in my life, I am sure there have been many. However, recalling those happy times are a lot more difficult than remembering the bad times. Hmmm I am going to have to work on that.

The Curly Haired Blond With Deep Blue Eyes

I remember I was at least five years old and still living in Cleveland. I was bored and my friend that lived across the street was not home. It was Spring time because I can remember it was a bit chilly but I can still see the green buds coming out on the trees.

I cut through the woods, which is today the Plain Dealer Newspaper Building off of I480 which was not there at the time. I had planned on cutting all the way through to John Marshal school to play on the playground, but for some reason I cut up the street before heading towards the baseball fields. I was about halfway up the street when I noticed this acoustic guitar in a garbage can on the devil strip. For those of you who are not familiar with the term “Devil Strip” ; it is the peace of land between the sidewalk and the street. I guess it is an Ohio term because people outside of my area never know what it means.

I picked out the guitar, and there was nothing wrong with it whatsoever to my surprise. It was a little wet because it had just started to rain at that moment but other than that it just needed to be tuned; it even had a shoulder strap. I turned towards the sidewalk; slipped the guitar strap around my neck and strummed a few cords. I had learned a few cords from my cousin Sue; she played the guitar like a pro back then. I turned around and started to walk back to my house because it had started to rain a lot harder at that point. When, from out of nowhere, I heard the most sweetest voice I have ever heard before; she sounded like an Angel. I looked around to try and spot where the voice was coming from, and after scanning the houses I noticed the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my short life. She was sitting on her porch in a chair with blond curly hair and deep blue eyes. I called back to her, “what did you say?” She said again, You can’t take that, it’s not yours. I tried to explain to her that I had got it out of the garbage and there was no reason that I could not take it. She smiled at me and gave me a little wave. I smiled back and as I turned to walk back home, I waved goodbye. The whole way home I could not get her out of my mind. I was in love just from one brief encounter. Who says there is no such thing as love at first sight? I would soon move to Medina and even though she was tattooed in my heart I didn’t think much of her after that.

Twenty years later, I found myself living in Berlin Germany while in the Army. My first night in Berlin the men in my Platoon took me out to get to know each other. We went to the Irish Pub. We took the train and got off at Alexanderplatz, and as soon I got off the train I saw the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, well not since I was five back in Cleveland. I walked up to her; she had deep blue eyes and curly blond hair. Could it be? Could she be that Angle I met when I was five? Stay tuned for my next Blog and find out!

 

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